All the ingredients for a masterpiece seemed to be aligned. An incredible cast. A master auteur waxing philosophically on a subject he knows well. The budget he required to realize his vision. Seasoned technical collaborators at the top of their games. There was so much to admire.
Read MoreHARDBARNED! The Blog
This blog began in 2008 as a series of posts I wrote about my comically frustrated working life as a post-graduate barn-hauling truck driver, which evolved into a book I published in 2016. Those posts no longer exist here. Today, the blog mostly consists of my film reviews, occasionally touching on other aspects of popular culture. You can scroll through it all below, or browse the same content at Medium.
PROSPECT (2018)
Initial dialog within the capsule is minimal; once the action moves outside, discussions become intermittently garbled and difficult to discern from one astro-helmet to another, but this trend soon reverses itself. As new characters are introduced and harrowing events transpire, the increasingly personality-driven script takes on an eloquent, almost Shakespearean lilt.
Read MoreRogue One, The Last Jedi and General Leia, Intergalactic Undead Hoveround
Chuckle-inducing prank calls! Improbable encounters with absurd and hideous, blue-milk CG beasts! Chewbacca barbecuing, then babysitting, banal baby birds, and a particularly grumpy Luke Skywalker with an actual speaking role!
Read MoreCORIOLANUS (2011)
There is war, and there is peace, and eternally trapped between them is Rome’s Caius Martius, AKA Coriolanus, a man of action uniquely equipped for soldiering and the leadership required thereof, if perhaps little else. He is a man apart, as distant from his family as he feels removed from his colleagues or even from the men who serve under him. Dedicated to a singular purpose of warfare, with no shortage of pride in his steadfast efficiency and the surgical precision of its execution, he has patience for little more.
Read MoreMACBETH (2015)
The Scotch highlands are painted from a bleak palette, unforgiving yet beautiful, steeped in soft grays and muted blacks under a constant mist of rain, a wash of vivid blue here, a swath of darkening smoke there. As his rage and fear multiply unbounded, apocalyptic events spiral out of Macbeth’s control, and all-encompassing flames, layered as if in a graphic novel comprised of collage come to life, undulating waves of orange, yellow and red engulf the viewer.
Read MoreRevisiting American Graffiti (1973)
What really stood out to me in the interview this time was the pivotal nature of American Graffiti (1973), a film I barely remembered having seen, an unexpected hit that gave the unknown director of the quietly subversive sci-fi student film THX-1138 (1971) the keys to Hollywood. Of course, Star Wars happened next. Without Graffiti, it might not have.
Read MoreThe Force Finally Awakens. Millions of Voices Suddenly Cry Out In Joy. George Lucas Senses Great Disturbance, Says "Harrumph."
If Chewie continues to kick as much ass as he did in every episode (including and especially in Episode VII), when will Leia finally realize she must retroactively award him with that medal he earned but failed to receive in Episode IV? I mean what does a Wookiee have to do to get some respect in this canon? Hasn't he earned the Falcon's pilot seat?
Read MoreDown The Pond Chasin' Bluegills & Tommycods (JAWS Turns 40)
As we approach the 40th anniversary of an American classic, and his wide-eyed, machete-wielding visage glares back at me from my desktop, I feel compelled to point out simply that Quint was a goddamn badass.
Read MoreA Lackluster Lack of Lando
WHERE THE HELL IS LANDO? No matter where I look, I can't find anything official that even mentions his having the slightest involvement in the new Star Wars movies. This was never part of the deal! Lando Calrissian—rogue, gambler, switcheroo artist and sketchy best pal of Han Solo—is absolutely essential for Episode VII. He truly belongs here with us among the sequels.
Read MoreBlue Valentine & The Place Beyond The Wolverine
Derek Cianfrance's Blue Valentine (2010) is to divorce what Darren Aronofsky's Requiem for a Dream (2000) is to drug abuse—not an easy film to watch, but a painfully moving work of fiction grounded in profound truths, a movie you are perhaps happier to have seen than you may be inclined to revisit again.
Read MoreBlackfish, The Cove and Intelligent Marine Mammals in Captivity
As a former SeaWorld trainer points out in the film, the first rule of animal breeding is not to breed animals deemed dangerous to humans, as their aggressive behaviors could be expected to transfer to younger generations. This doesn't seem to bother SeaWorld.
Read MoreThe Counselor Sinks Faster Than Gravity
The Counselor, boasting a bevy of swaggering A-listers at the top of their games, just never connects. It's all procedural, and Ridley Scott deserves plenty of credit for plowing artfully through all those requisite, well-tread procedures that Soderbergh covered thoroughly in Traffic—the drug selling, drug buying, drug shipping, drug dealing, drug warring, drug-mess-cleaning and all the inevitable drug fallout.
Read MoreWerner Herzog and Cows In The Field
Reading Conquest of the Useless, I'm brought right back into the midst of the intense madness and the imaginative beauty of the whole gorgeous train wreck from which I still cannot manage to look away.
Read MoreAn Open Letter To James Cameron
Like many of us, you could pretend that T3 and T4 never happened, just like most of us pretend that there are only three Star Wars films. If you were indeed “quietly advising” Arnold about returning for T5, wouldn’t you like to make one final film and crush the last two pretenders like an old skull under the heel of a fleshless, menacing T-800?
Read MoreGet Stoked! The Bones Brigade Returns
Out of nowhere Rodney Mullen steals the emotional core of the film, sharing thoughtful reflections on his challenging relationship with a father who repeatedly banned him from the sport despite his absolute domination of what was then known as “freestyle” skating, which focused mainly on flatland tricks, of which Mullen was the undisputed champion and chief innovator.
Read MoreBe My Wingman Anytime (Top Gun Turns 25)
I'll be the first to admit a childhood obsession with Top Gun that has lasted well into adulthood. I’ve changed quite a bit since 1986. Top Gun hasn’t, but I still love the movie as much as I did 25 years ago.
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